THE LAKE

“Say CHEESE”

The shutter of the camera sounded off as Alvin Pumpernickel photographed the couple by the waters edge. Despite a frequent gust of wind the day was perfect for a wedding. The sky was a brilliant gradient of blue hues interrupted by a few fluffy white clouds that decorated the landscape. The water of Okanagan Valley was wavy but not violent, and the couple didn’t need to fake smiles as they wore them genuinely on their faces.

Alvin, however, still had to pretend.

“Alright guys I think that’s it.” He said as he put away his Nikon into it’s bag before rubbing the lens with his special cloth. Alvin prided himself in his care for his equipment. It was his livelihood, after all.

“Say, who takes the wedding photographers' photos?” The groom asked, an oblivious smile still spread across his face.

“What do you mean?” Alvin asked as he dismantled his tripod.

“Well who will you hire when you get married?” The bride laughed.

Alvin broke eye contact and looked back down at his bag he was attempting to uncomfortably wedge the tripod into. “That’s a good question, Dev. I guess I never thought about it.”

“Women must love dating photographers. Chen immediately  made me her instagram boyfriend. She always yells at me for taking pictures at the wrong angles.”

“I wouldn’t yell at you if you didn’t always shoot me with a double chin!”

Alvin’s stomach knotted, he didn’t know why the couples always held him hostage during their lovers' quarrels, as if he was some moderator or a couples counselor.

The groom led his bride back to the wedding party. “You coming bro?”

“Just gonna catch a few of this skyline. Won’t be long.”

The day had been hot and his suit acted as a conductor, trapping the heat and roasting him like a thanksgiving bird, but by the water was cool and relaxing. Alvin knew that the longer he stayed here the harder it would be to return to the wedding.

“They’re paying you a lot for this. This will cover the entire month’s rent. Just put on a smile and get back there.” Alvin told himself. Just as he turned to return to the reception he heard a splash coming from the waters edge, as he turned his head his heart sank in his chest. He felt a jolt of fear paralyze him. For a moment, Alvin was certain he was going to die of fright.

Buoying from the water was a reptilian, horse-like face. It had large yellow eyes, as they widened a translucent film of clear mucus pulled back revealing an even more concentrated, radiant colour. Rising from the water still were several humps suggesting the creature's length to be easily 50 feet long.

Alvin stared at the creature in awe, when slowly his hands began reaching for his camera bag. The creature continued to look at him with interest as it tread in the water. Alvin pulled the camera from its case and removed the lens cap.

“I probably shouldn’t raise to eye level, if I cover my face it might be alarmed, I should take the photo from here and-”

“ALVIN!? AAAALLLVVIN!! There you are!”

The creature splashed back under the water as Alvin held down the button on his camera capturing a burst of photos. He looked over his shoulder seething in anger at the bridesmaid that approached, her smile quickly faded into concern as she saw his piercingly frustrated face.

“WHAT!?” he snapped.

“I…” she stammered. “They sent me to get you, they’re about to cut the cake.”

A sliver of guilt entered Alvin’s mind. Mae was a gorgeous woman and they had really hit it off earlier. He figured that must have been why they sent her to get him, a way of getting them alone. The guilt disappeared as quickly as it entered when he remembered the spectacle he had just witnessed.

“Did you see it?” Alvin asked breathlessly.

“See what?” She asked. “I heard a splash. What was it?”

Alvin quickly reviewed his photos. He began gritting his teeth. “Of course! This is so fucking typical. Any time someone see’s anything..” Then Alvin felt the familiar drop in his chest.

“Oh my god! YES!” He laughed deliriously.

Mae smiled in confused anticipation. “What!? What is it!?”

“LOOK!” Alvin held the camera forward to her. His wide, goofy grin faded as he looked at her expression change, her brow furrowed in confusion.

“What? You don’t see it.”

“I’m sorry.. I just… don’t know what I’m looking at?”

“It’s right there! See the fin?”

Mae looked away from the camera and back at Alvin. “Just tell me what I’m supposed to be looking at?”

Alvin put the camera back in the bag, he didn’t bother reapplying the lens cap. He sighed deeply and stared longingly back at the water. The hairs on his neck lifted as the sun began its descent.

“I guess I should go back now.”

Mae rubbed her bare, hairless arms for warmth and comfort as the temperature fell.

“Yeah, they’re cutting the cake.

. . .

Alvin drank deeply from his thermos, he still hadn’t gotten used to the distinct taste the aluminum lining gave his coffee. The wedding was over a week ago and every day, around the same hour of the sighting, Alvin returned to the spot. After gaining a moderate level of engagement from posting the photo on Reddit he had been supplied with a few leads, most notably that of the legendary Ogogopo. Curiously, Alvin had moved to British Columbia two years ago and had never heard of the infamous lake monster until now.

Alvin learned that Ogopogo or Oggy sightings dated back to 1872. Legends of it were originally recorded among first nations folklore, specifically the Secwepemc and Syilx natives, who referred to the creature as Naitaka, translated to “water demon” and described as as "an evil supernatural entity with great power and ill intent that demanded a live sacrifice for safe crossing of the lake”. Naitaka was often described as using its tail to create fierce storms to drown victims. A famous tale was of Timbasket, a man who refused offerings to Naitaka and tried to cross its waters with his family. Naitaka overturned their canoe and dragged him and his family to the bottom of the lake, never to be seen again. 

Though, other sources claimed Naitaka as a spirit embodying the natural beauty of the lake, and that it was settlers who demonized the first nations beliefs. They corrupted the legend until Naitaka was known as a monster named Ogopogo, a name that is completely meaningless. 

Ogopogo or Naitaka or whatever Alvin saw was as terrifying as it was mystifying. It’s oddly shaped skull and impossibly yellow eyes, like caution signs, mystified him. Though the tale of Timbasket lingered in the back of his mind, Alvin had been tipped off by reddit user creature_comforts that an unclaimed million dollar reward for proof of its existence was offered by a tourism country and it was decided then that the reward outweighed the risk. “And besides…” Alvin thought. “If I saw it once and lived, I should be able to see it again.”

As the sun had all but set over Okanagan Valley, Alvin rubbed his eyes and let out a long, bellowing yawn.

“I hear that buddy!” A voice echoed from behind him. Alvin quickly spun to the source, then remembering that an interruption cost him his reward last time he darted back toward the water that waved lazily towards him.

“Sorry didn’t mean to startle ya there.” The voice called out again, now visibly belonging to some sort of park ranger authority figure.

“No, you’re fine.” Alvin assured as he looked pensively back out at the water.

“Photographer?” The ranger asked, gesturing to Alvin’s camera.

“Yeah… Sorry. Can I help you? I just don’t want to miss it.” Alvin asked as he settled himself back into the groove of dirt and grass near the rocks that he had naturally formed over the week.

“Oh, sorry. No. I just figured I’d check in on ya. They’re upping patrol here and not suggesting staying out past dark.”

“Why?”

“Coyote season.”

“Hmm..” Alvin realized he had been concerned with only one inhabitant in the valley and not the numerous others that call Okanagan home.

“What are you shooting?”

Alvin sighed. “This fucking guy” he thought.

“Ogopogo.”

The ranger laughed. “Really?”

“Yep.”

“Hate to break it to ya buddy but Ogopogo isn’t real. It’s just a moose.”

“A moose?” Alvin laughed.

“Yeah, have you ever seen a Moose swimming? Totally understandable that anyone would think it’s a lake monster. It’s got the humps and everything. Heck, some even say that Ogopogo has antlers so there you go.”

Alvin recalled that the creature's face looked horse-like and how much sense that a Moose would make for someone seeing it from afar, but he had evidence, he had seen the real thing, and it wasn’t a moose.

“Ah, if he isn’t gonna leave me alone I might as well show him.” Alvin thought.

“Here check this out.” Alvin called to the ranger as he readied the photo up.

“Oh that’s an otter.” The ranger stated at a quick glance.

“No!” Alvin said, looking closely at the photo. “I saw it, it wasn’t an otter.”

“I dunno what to tell ya man. That’s an otter flipper. Back paw. When a bunch of them swim together it looks kind of like one serpent-like creature.” The ranger explained, gesturing his arm like a slithering creature. “Again, an honest mistake. I guess. Until y’know… they spread out.”

“No, I saw it. It had a horse like head-”

“Moose.”

“No!” Alvin sighed in frustration. “It didn’t have any hair, it was serpentine, and it had these piercing yellow eyes.”

“And the rest of it?” The ranger asked, interested.

“I… I don’t really remember. It had humps that stretched out. It seemed to have a long neck and was treading before swimming off. It had flippers that, yeah I guess look otter-like now that you mention it.” Alvin trailed off. Suddenly now second guessing everything he had so firmly believed in.

“Huh. Well if you get a picture of that I’d love to see it.”

“Yeah.” Alvin muttered. “Me too.”

. . .

The lake had a way of transforming at night, looking more like a still, solid mirror blanketing the horizon. Impossible to tell where the natural terrain ended and the lake began, even with the dim glow of the moon at its center. Sometimes Alvin felt as though he could just step out and walk across its surface, it was only due to the occasional ripple that broke the still lakes façade that he never tried. 

It dawned on Alvin how few photos he had taken of the natural beauty of the valley, almost as if he was saving the near limitless space on his camera for photos of the creature when really he could have been making a career for himself in wildlife and nature photography. Wedding photography was a side hustle that he had sort of fallen into. He originally imagined himself being an artistic photographer. In college he experimented in mixed media collage. He would add paint and utilize retro and outdated photo-manipulation processes. This, he thought, made his pieces into legitimate works of art that transcendent the medium of photography. After months of under appreciation and rejection letters he began selling his services on craigslist out of desperation to pay rent. He started by retouching aged photos of random people's great grandparents and airbrushing away skin blemishes on prom photos. He even took bizarre requests like editing Ferrari’s and models into the photos of sad, insecure men. The nail in the coffin was the day he sold a piece in a gallery for the same amount he was paid to add a full head of hair to a random Russian client's profile picture. Worst of all it took him weeks to create that piece and less than an hour to achieve realistic flowing locks on Oleg. Before he knew it he had a steady stream of wedding gigs lined up and a whole website dedicated to his services.

Ironically it had been years since he had a girlfriend. The weddings didn’t bother him in the beginning, but soon he grew to resent the affection and warmth of his subjects, as if it were a cruel joke that God was playing on him, forcing him to slavishly capture moments of intimacy and love that he was deprived of.

Alvin had eventually found himself in desperate need for approval and affirmation. On top of phone, internet and rent he was adding several e-girls diamond tier onlyfans to his list of monthly expenses, the monthly private video calls, while only lasting a few minutes, had entirely replaced dating for him. He initially felt a sense of pride for this. He knew that this was a legitimate business for these girls, and he was happy to be a small part of their growing entrepreneurship, though he also knew that they were owing him this date, and that it was disingenuous the attention he was receiving. It wasn’t earned, it was bought. It was basically prostitution with extra steps and no intimacy.

“God.” He thought. “What is my life? I’ve given up on all of my passions, I’m paying hundreds of dollars to girls who don’t even know my name.. and now I’m out here in the dark trying to take a picture of a goddamn lake monster!?”

Alvin picked up a rock and tossed it into the lake, it made a loud crack as it splashed in the shallow shore, creating a wave of ripples that spread out through the calm surface. The ripples continued endlessly out, then grew and grew until in the distance a figure broke through and rose.

Alvin looked on, knowing instinctively what it was. He looked at the camera in his hands, ready to take the shot. But instead, he set it down. He didn’t want to be known as the man who took a picture of this creature, and the repercussions of outing it’s existence didn’t appeal to him either. He imagined they would drain the lake, killing all the life so that they could sort through the carcasses until finding it. Or, more realistically, all the tourists that would flock to the valley to gawk at it, polluting and corrupting the natural beauty of the valley. Alvin decided that if he were to be someone worth remembering, it would be for something he made, not for something he happened to see.

Alvin approached the water's surface, welcoming the creature as it glided towards him.